Mother of God

Transcript of a conversation with my mom today.

Mom: How are things going? Everything good with the apartment?

Me: No. I've got to get out of there...! It gets way too hot in the summers.

Mom: But it's got such a nice view.

Me: I know...

Mom: You're not gonna find another lake like that.

Me: But it's already getting uncomfortable and it's only May. Then comes June. Then July...!

Mom: I know.

Me: Then August!

Mom: But if you get a house and you try to keep it as cold as you like it, you're going to have a really big electric bill.

Me: It'll be worth it to have a cool place to live for once.

Mom: Our electric bill was $500 one time. We decided t wasn't worth it.

Me: At least you had a taste though. I'd like to have a cool place and then weight the costs myself. It's the only thing I care about. Just having a cool place to live.

Mom: Your last place wasn't cool?

Me: Nope. And neither was the one before that. You know me. I just don't like the heat.

Mom: Then you better make sure you go to heaven.

*silence*

Me: What?

Mom: Talk about heat! (laughs)

Me: That's a weird thing to say.

Mom: I know, but it's true. (laughs)

Me: I'm going to tell my friends that I told you I wanted a cool place to live and you told me I better not go to hell.

Mom: It's gonna be really hot down there! (laughs)

Me: Okay, well, I better get back to work.

Mom: Okay, love you.

Me: Love you too.

--F