"Brain Abs"? Really? THAT's what you came up with?

I'm saying it because I'm guessing that's what YOU'RE thinking. Why would you be thinking that? Because that's what I'D be thinking. And I consider myself a man of the people. And you people? You're my people.

I'm gonna give you a quick rundown about who I am and what I'm about. Why is this important? Well first of all, as we've already covered, I think it's important to you because it'd be important to me, and again, we're peeps, you and me. Besides, I'll be voicing a lot of opinions about a lot of subjects of varying stupidity here and it helps you decide how much weight to lend a thing when you consider the source. So, here's a rundown on your source - code named: Fantasticles.

Firstly, I'm a writer by trade, but first and foremost, I'm an observer; a student of human nature. Knowing and understanding human nature is the fastest shortcut to predicting the future with any degree of accuracy. I watch you people (by which I mean US people) from the sidelines. I try not to pass judgement to the extent that it's humanly possible, but at the end of the day, I calls 'em likes I sees 'em. Sometimes what I see is pretty, sometimes it's not. Sometimes it's important; many times, it's not. But most of the time, it's just amusing - to me at least (by which I mean you).

I study punctuation and grammar religiously, which is to say, I grew up with it, have a basic understanding and affection for it, but think about it seriously only about once a week and usually only when I'm in trouble. Besides, I have an assistant who usually helps me with that kinda thing. She won't be touching Brain Abs, though, so propare yoyrself fo rsome fabluous spellong.

I'm the kind of guy who gives credit where credit is due, even if I think the credit is due to a total douche. By the way, Kanye West has some great songs.

I've been told I'm a fan of the word douche, so chances are good that Brain Abs will feature it often. I am currently looking into sponsorship possibilities with Summer's Eve.

And lastly, I'm a guy who's spent too much time writing one kind of thing lately and just needed to brush up on my chops. Doing what I do for a living for too long will turn your brains to mush unless you can break the pattern every once in a while. So, like a muscle on the verge of atrophy, I've decided to give my brain a much-needed workout. My goal is to post something once a week at first and slowly work my way to posting something once a day. Hopefully, along the way, I'll manage to sculpt my spaghetti-like mind muscles into something that won't be embarrassed to go shirtless at the community organ pool. With any luck, by the end of this world wide net blog, my brain will be totally ripped, by which I mean YOUR brain, because again, we're peeps, you and me.

How do I know we're peeps? Easy. If you're still reading this, we're peeps. If not, we're not peeps after all. And you may just be a douche.

But don't fret, I'll still give you credit when it's due.

-- F